How to handle your debts

Letter to a large retailer...

Dear Sir/Madam

I acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 07 July 2008 in which for the third time, you request that I pay the monies owed to you. I first want you to know that by no means do I dispute my debt and I intend to pay as soon as possible.

However I would like to bring to your attention that you are not my only creditor. I have many more creditors, quite as honourable and important as you, and whom I wish to pay too. That is why, each month, I throw all the names of my creditors into a hat and draw one randomly. The one drawn is paid immediately.

I hope that yours will come out shortly.

Sincerely yours

PS: I regret to inform you that given the harsh and threatening tone of your last letter, you will not be taking part in the next three draws.